metamorphosis
by Meocaroba
Summary: In an Academy filled with unfamiliar people, Luca Nogi can think of nothing except animals and his best friend. / Canon fic
Noise. The Academy is _noise_. Luca resists the urge to cover his ears with his palms and follows the teacher in front of him through the halls.

Buildings, then classrooms, then a desk and a chair to call his own. The other students look at him through thinly veiled distrust and he can't make sense of it. Is the school the enemy, or is it him? Luca's nails dig into his skin and he furrows his brow. He lets openness and hope bleed out of his features, until he is distrust as they are distrust, until he is a chamaeleon hiding from prey.

His mother taught him to be a good person, but being a person seems difficult, now more than ever. His mother taught him to be loyal and brave, like the heroes in books, but whenever he closes his eyes he sees lions and eagles instead of men. His mother taught him a sword does not always have a blade, but his hands are empty and he wishes for paws to run away with.

The students are talking, arguing, using their Alices so openly that Luca can't help but feel a pang of jealousy before closing his eyes.

There is so much _noise_.

Luca is - he is afraid.

He hasn't seen Natsume all day. Perhaps he's found his own set of paws to run away with, or perhaps he is a bat, hunting at night. Some animals prefer solitude, but Luca can't quite decide which kind of animal Natsume is in the first place. He thinks that his brain knows scarcely little about his best friend, although his heart is screaming at him that he knows enough.

When Luca opens his eyes again, the students are watching him. There is a girl - green eyed, green haired - whose nose twitches as she surveys him. She reaches up to scratch herself behind her ears and leans forward, as though ready to jump and Luca finds himself clinging to those familiar movements. She is a cat and she is a dog and he knows this, he _knows_ this.

"You're pretty dreamy," she comments and for a second he forgets that he's a chamaeleon, for a second he wants to smile. But then admiration replaces her cat-like movements and he is transported back to his first years at elementary school: All those students who loved him for his Alice, all those students he never truly got to know. So many people, and yet still they confused him.

So perhaps the noise is just his own fretful heart.

* * *

That day, he gets passed from teacher to teacher as though on a conveyer belt, and he can't recall their names. Only Narumi stays in his mind, Narumi, who came to their city before it burned to the ground, Narumi, whose eyes never seem to linger on anyone, as though he is always searching for a different face in the crowd. He may look like a peacock, Luca thinks, but he is a bird of prey just like the rest of the adults, waiting for some unknown sign before he strikes.

It's Narumi who takes him to the dormitories, and the small room he's been assigned to before he's given his star rank. The building towers above him in an imposing way, all brick and stone and dozens of windows.

"I know it's strange," Narumi says, when he catches the look on Luca's face. "But it'll be home, you'll see."

Home.

Luca used to be home, but he's left behind that cage, traded it in for a new one. Now he feels like a stone falling down a staircase, bouncing from the administration to his new classmates, bumping into people constantly, bumping into everyone except the person he came to the Academy for.

"Narumi, where's Natsume?," Luca asks. He is an owl, just for one second, he is large eyes and wings and claws ready to cut.

"Natsume-kun met his ability class today," Narumi explains, voice gentle. "And his teacher. You know, Luca...I think you should look for him."

"I've been looking for him all day," Luca answers, before turning his back towards Narumi and entering his room without a goodbye.

Inside of it, he doesn't find silence, only the questions, always that questions: Are you safe, are you here, have they taken you? How do I protect you, how do I help you?

Natsume, Natsume.

How do I find a sword to fight with?

Eventually he lets himself slump to the ground, his back against a wall, and he is a mole burying himself into the ground, while Natsume is a tiger, mid-jump. Perhaps his best friend will never come back or perhaps he will find other people to call best friend. Perhaps it makes sense, too. They used to be alike, two Alices in a small town, but now there are hundreds of Alices and Luca realises that he has little to offer. In a way, it's easier not to search for his best friend right now, it's easier to stay inside this new cage.

Luca can feel his own fear gnawing away at their bond. Was this a mistake? Because truly, what does he have to give except his own empty hands and his useless promises that seem to mean nothing now?

Except...except that there's this memory he can't seem to escape, of Natsume, Aoi and him, running into the forest. He was so embarrassed after using his Alice but Natsume smiled.

 _Gentle and strong, just like you._

And then there's his mother, and the softness of her fingers as she lifts his chin up to look at him.

 _You have to be strong now, Luca. Be strong, for Natsume._

Outside, the sun is setting and Luca is still scared - of the noise and of the people and of his best friend, too. This guest room seems frighteningly small and he can feel the walls closing in on him, like the twisted realization of what he's done, of what he chose to do, for a boy who might not like him or want him around.

But he shouldn't give up, not on his friend, not on his _first_ friend.

* * *

Luca's out of the door in seconds, one hand trailing the walls. The dormitory is unfamiliar, this entire place is unfamiliar. The Academy is loud and yet silent, it never shuts up and never says anything at all. Luca still feels as though he is breaking, as though he is the lessons his mother taught him and the quiet strength of his father. As though he is the memories of fire on his skin and the sum total of what has happened in his past. He is jagged bits of confusion, he is a rabbit in hiding, not a person.

Luca's all of those things but he is also, right then, a best friend.

The evening air is crispy cold, like ice on his tongue. For a second Luca doesn't quite understand why his feet have led him to this balcony on the first floor of the dormitory building, and he looks around for clues. In the darkness, he can barely make out anything. Still, not all animals require light to see.

He is a bat, he is a lemur, he is climbing the roof with the ability of an eight year old boy - all enthusiasm and little skill. It's true, he doesn't know people. But if Natsume is an animal, he understands that now, then Natsume is a cat, and he will seek out high ground to make sense of their new life.

And there Natsume is, the night sky like a blanket around his shoulders. The clouds are vanishing and the moon is bright and Luca can feel his breath coming easier now. He is a raven, landing on a roof and Natsume is a panther, still ready to fight.

"Hey," he says, shuffling closer until he's carefully perched next to his best friend. Natsume must have heard him coming, yet he still seems startled.

"How did you know where I was?," he asks, dark brows furrowed.

"You're a cat," Luca answers, still catching his breath. "It all makes sense."

His words make Natsume's lips quirk upwards.

"I'm a person, silly," he says, but there's no malice in his tone. Natsume's gaze is fixed on the sky above them, like a cat searching for prey or a boy lost in thoughts. His eyes flicker over to Luca for a second and something in his face seems to fall into place. Natsume takes a deep breath.

"Today was hell," is all he says.

Luca leans forward, fists on his knees, and thinks about that sentence.

"I'm sorry," he says eventually, and then: "Tell me about it?"

And so Natsume tells him. About Persona, about his sister, about the Dangerous Ability class, about threats and violence and darkness. Afterwards, the night feels colder to Luca, and the dark shadow the dormitories cast seems to have taken on a new meaning.

The Academy's shadow is like a blanket, it warms some of the students and suffocates the rest.

"These…" Luca searches for a word. "...blobfish-headed mole rats! They're awful! C'est l'horreur!"

He throws up his hands.

"I mean we're people, you're a person, this is what it means, right? It means they don't get to treat you like this! It's...it's…"

He trails of when he catches Natsume's eyes. His best friend's shoulders are bobbing up and down, and a soft noise escapes his lips, as though he's trying to hold something in. Luca's hands unwittingly reach out.

"Oh," he says, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset, I just -"

Then Natsume starts laughing. He laughs and laughs, only pausing to take deep gulping breaths. Eventually, Luca joins in because there is humor in this, he can see that now. They're two boys in a strange school filled with magical people, and they're sitting outside on the roof laughing about how awfully they're being treated. It's stupid, it's silly, it makes no sense.

Perhaps this is just what it means to be human.

After they've stopped laughing, Natsume looks over at him. There's a shadow under his red eyes - maybe exhaustion, maybe the experiences of the past days - but his smile is still there.

"You're something else," he says, fondly. Luca smiles back at him.

Maybe they can do this, he thinks. Maybe they'll be alright despite all the confusion. Maybe they'll learn the teachers' names together and maybe their classmates will learn to trust then. For the first time in a long time, Luca feels hope.

But then he sees Natsume's expression cracking little by little, until all joy has left it.

"I don't know how to do this," Natsume confesses. "I don't know anything at all."

Luca still has no sword to fight with, although he desperately wishes for a way to save Natsume from the school's darkness. But just for now, his hands' emptiness isn't a weakness anymore, because it allows him to reach over and wrap his fingers around his best friend's palm.

"I am here," he says, "I am here, and today I saw a girl that was like a cat and a dog, and Narumi the peacock and I was afraid. I _am_ afraid, but I'm with you, always."

Natsume's fingers tighten around his. Luca doesn't know what animal to compare that action to, but somehow he knows how to translate it: _Thank you_.

"Well, I do hope you won't actually _always_ be with me," Natsume says, conversationally. "I would like some privacy now and then, like on the toilet for example, I mean you're a nice guy and all, but…"

Luca uses his other hand to swat him on the shoulder.

"You just had to ruin the moment, didn't you," he exclaims. Natsume snickers.

And oh, Luca is a dog wagging his tail and his best friend is a cat, hissing at him. They're two birds on a roof and two fish out of the water, they are scales, then fur, then skin.

They're both changing, Luca can see that now, and the Academy is watching them, perhaps in interest, perhaps in apathy, as they pull themselves out of its shadowy blanket and sit side by side under the moon. The things he has learned are nothing compared to the things he's yet to learn. And this was only the first of many lessons on friendship and on life but yes, they are alive -

They are _alive_ , and then, and then -

Then they are boys, because their laughter strips away Luca's fear and confusion, then they are human and he understands what that means.


End file.
